There are so many sayings about the idea of “chasing” or “working hard” to get something.  One major belief is that if something doesn’t present itself as a challenge then its probably not going to be very satisfying when it is received.  This is certainly true in some cases.  The more work we put into getting to that goal, the greater amount of satisfaction we feel.  For example, studying for a licensing exam is generally a task that people will put their sweat and tears into.  When passing results are received, people go into an understandably euphoric state because the dream they were chasing became a reality.  What about when it comes to the relationship world?  Does chasing or working hard have the same applications? Before I give my thoughts on that, I’d just like to preface this whole post with the fact that I’m a big believer on working hard, feeling stressed and working through less than pleasant conditions to see achievement.  I also believe that not every undertaking is worth someone’s time.  What I mean by this is that when you set a goal in mind, whatever it may be, the path you travel through to achieve the goal may be difficult, but as long as there are some encouraging markers along the way then you are on the right track.  To apply this to my licensing exam example: you may have lost tens of hours of valuable sleep, not eaten so well, felt stressed and neglected other areas of life; but if you were also learning new information, solidifying the material in your mind and feeling productive (even at the slightest bit) then the end is worth the means.  Now, lets look at any type of relationship through the same lens.  You are trying to reconnect with an old friend.  Scenario 1: you and old friend are trying to make plans but you keep missing each others calls.  Then when you finally speak your schedules are totally off.  For weeks or months you cannot find a time that works for both of you, yet there is effort on both your parts to try to make a plan.  This chasing is frustrating, but is double sided, so both parties are taking an interest in working toward the same goal.  Scenario 2: you and old friend are trying to make plans.  You are doing all the calling, he doesn’t pick up the calls and is not calling back.  Maybe you make a plan, but he cancels last minute and doesn’t suggest trying to reschedule.  This is single sided chasing.  This same scenario can also be applied to romantic relationships as well.  Point is, during this journey to meet the end goal of having a plan, if you are experiencing challenges but so is the other party, then at least you can see the positive in that both of you are working with the same goal in mind.  However, if you are working hard toward making plans that the other party has no interest in, where is that bit of encouragement that tells you to pursue this goal further?  It isn’t there.  This goal is not worth your effort.  Chasing is perfectly fine.  Getting what you want can take work.  Just always be sure to find the positivity or encouragement that justifies any chasing at all.

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